Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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