is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
