Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
