last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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