Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
