Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
