The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
