Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
cat food counts as protein by the way
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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