Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
