Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
