I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
