Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
