We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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