Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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