You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
