I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
