These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
