Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
