i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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