Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
