He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
