you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize
