i'm signing you up for texting rehab
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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