Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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