i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
