I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
