You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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