And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
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Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
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Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize