What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
4 words: hood of his car
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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