I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
