so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
