no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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