i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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