ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
