onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Randomize
