bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
