Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
