She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
