he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
