im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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