Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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