I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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