just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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