we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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