i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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