i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
this will be a night to untag.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Randomize