google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
We got so high we made milksteak
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.