I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol