We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate