Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.