I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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