I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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