dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
