Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
