Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
