Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
