Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
