last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
