She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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