Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
