but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
