so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
