HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
false alarm. still invincible.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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