Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
