If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
