So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
