I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize